Marriage Check-Up: Day Fourteen of 14 Days & 14 Ways to Love Our Husbands
I hope you’re having a wonderful Valentine’s Day!
Despite my very best efforts and a great first half of the day, I did finally have an “I hate the pressures of Valentine’s Day” moment. But to my credit I also teared up watching Clueless (I could be feeling slightly emotional today). I’m feeling better now after taking a hot bath and apologizing to my sweet husband. As I mentioned on Day 1, I’m really not a fan of this holiday.
One of the the things I was hopeful for in this series is that us wives would at least look at how much effort we are putting into our marriages and into showing our husbands how much we love them.
So, I want to end this series by challenging us to look at our marriages and see how we’re doing. Jared and I have made this check-up a part of our marriage routine. Every 3-6 months we plan a day to evaluate how we’re doing. We typically book a hotel and try to check in as early as they’ll let us. At the hotel, we spend time praying, talking, reading, and brainstorming. We talk about finances, career goals, family planning, sex, feelings, the areas we think are going well and the ones we need to work on, and anything else we’ve bottled up or want to talk about. Then, we break for a dinner date.
The reason I think it’s important to designate a time to talk about big issues is that there never seems to be a “right time” to discuss some things. Our check-up is a safe place to bring up any issue. Spending time together in prayer before our discussion helps us stay focused on bringing us closer to each other and to God, thus keeping feelings of attack at bay. Of course, some ground rules may need to be set, especially if you have some negative patterns that you want to avoid.
Sometimes the process is not easy. But, we always leave feeling closer than we were when we started and energized to make our marriage a priority.
If you have any questions about how we do this let me know. Does any one else have a designated check-up with their husband? I’d be interested to hear how frequently you check in and how you make it work with young kids in the picture.
Thank you for joining me for the last fourteen days. It’s been a blessing to our marriage to put the focus on my husband for a couple of weeks and I hope it has been for you, too.
I am so proud of you baby for all the work and effort (and great ideas) you have put into the last 14 days. I know they have not all been easy. I have really enjoyed reading them, and being a part of some of them (haha). Sorry about your little moment earlier
, I love ya and Happy Valentines!!
Jared
February 15, 2010